Why It Doesn’t Matter What Religion You Are

A slightly sarcastic piece of humor taking a look at exclusivism in many of today’s modern religions.


If there is one thing that most of the world’s religions have in common with most major corporations these days (besides money, that is) it is that they only want you to use their product.


You can only get a piece of real estate in Heaven if you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior. Or was that only if you accept Mohammed as the final prophet and messenger? Judaism also has its own requirements.

The other thing most major world religions have in common with each other is that if you go to Heaven in one religion, you are going to Hell in the other religions.

Hinduism, on the other hand, doesn’t exactly see things that way. The Hindus see things much the same as I do. The Gods have the best carrier service in any universe.

Not like here on Earth, where I can’t send a letter to Donald Trump begging him to change his platform from racism and exclusivism to environmental awareness and equality by addressing the letter to my neighbor.

The Gods, on the other hand. Well, they have excellent carrier service. The way I see it, there is one Source. One, ultimate source that is not one entity, and in fact not even definable by the term entity. Although maybe I’m wrong. We are, after all, just a bunch of gerbils trying to figure out which is a food pellet and which is our dung.

This is completely figuratively speaking, but I am sure you have gotten the jist that this post is laden with a different kind of humor. A kind of humor that I really haven’t used on this site before.

I could send my letter to Loki, I could send my letter Kim Kardashian (I am talking prayers, not actual letters) and it wouldn’t really matter. The letter will be received.

I will say it this way. Be Christian. Jesus was a cool dude. In fact, if you wanted to make a Gospel of Jesus, I would love it. It would be short, have you ever realized that? Take the Bible, and all of those words in red that are attributed to Jesus, and keep only them. You’ve got, what? Two pages? Two pages max of his teachings.

Two pages of teachings that even Buddha wouldn’t find problematic. Teachings that gay men and women would be able to follow without the fear of hellfire. Teachings that can be taken as essentially universal.

That is the point of religion. It is a tool. It is a sacred part of Klana Sapyana, our human race.  But it doesn’t matter which one you follow, it doesn’t matter who you pray to.

The Christian God is a loving, merciful God. Yet, he apparently has no problems with gambling, despite apparently being against it.

“You all must follow the one, true way!” says God. “Follow this one true way or suffer eternal fire!”

Yet, this loving God thrusts you into this ultimatum without actually telling you which way is the one true way. There are countless ways to choose from!

Choose carefully, however, because the loving Christian God will throw you into an eternal prison of torment if you choose wrong.

If you are having trouble choosing, I understand. I don’t eat at Subway, but I have had the Subway experience. So many choices, so many people waiting impatiently in line behind you wanting to take your nervous, hungry place.

If this is you, I have made a simple method of “divining” the one true way. It has about as much chance of saving your eternal soul as following the religion that your parents gave you. So why not give it a try?

All you need is one d6. One six sided die. Roll that thing!

Then, compare your result with the table to find out what the one true religion is!

  1. Judaism
  2. Protestant Christianity
  3. Islam
  4. Catholic Christianty
  5. Amish Christianity
  6. Satanism

When Life Takes Away From You – A Diary Entry

A Diary Entry From Klana Ruje.

Life is a container of events. Basically, life is a chest. It can hold anything that it can fit inside of it. These events can be events that you find favorable or unfavorable.

Meeting the woman who would later become my wife. This is an event the chest that is my life contains. I am thankful and made very happy by that.

The birth of our daughter, so completely awesome of an event.

Somebody we don’t know stealing a radio from someone we knew. Hmmm. You may think, this one probably doesn’t make you very happy. Maybe makes you a little sad.

Nope. This one terrorizes me. This one frightens me. Why? For one, because it took our little families life and completely turn it upside down, inside out and tore it to pieces.

For two, it taught me something. It taught me something real. It taught me something terrifying.

Bending a blade of grass is not without its consequences.

Someone we had not really known for a long time had been hanging out with us near our favorite hiking trail. He had been drinking, which normally makes me nervous but he was nice. A fellow musician.

However, while we were walking around on the trail a bit, someone had taken his radio from where he had left it.  The blade of grass had been bent. My family would be the ones to suffer the consequences.

We are a peaceful, non violent people. That goes without saying, it is our way and we take our way very seriously. May all beings be well, happy and peaceful. May we always think, speak and act purely and beautifully.

When our acquaintance’s radio came up missing, he became violent and very angry. He became convinced that we took his radio, despite being with him the entire time. He wanted to fight, and I tried with everything that I had to calm him and help him find his center.

All I remember after that was that I would regain consciousness again just in time to see his fist coming back down upon my head. I have no clue how many times that happened. I was knocked out on the ground being beaten repeatedly in the head by this man. My wife was holding our daughter just a few feet away, and they were both scared.

When my wife couldn’t get him off of me, couldn’t get him to stop beating my head in, she stabbed him in the shoulder. I came to again to see him walking away, back up the trail.

We have no clue who took the radio, but now my wife is being charged with a crime, even though she saved my life, and possibly hers and our daughters, too.

Here’s the thing. I know this much at least. When our new friend woke up that morning and we made the plans to get together that day, those events that would end up happening were not on his mind. They weren’t even a possibility. He was drunk, and drunk people are not known for their clear minds and rational thinking.

I also know that the kid who stole his radio never thought about the fact that his actions would cause what happened to occur. We were both put in jail, and the released. Charges were filed against my wife, our daughter had been taken by CPS while we were in jail. We’ve been trying to get her back and that has not been easy.

To top it all off, despite trying hard to do everything right, it hasn’t worked. Despite checking 3 times to ensure that the courts had the proper mailing address, an important paper was mailed to the wrong address. We had to go to the courthouse to get it. Yet, every time we did, it was nowhere to be found. We had been told that failure to get that paper would result in a warrant being released on my wife. We went up there several times, no success. We called, we left voicemails and received no return calls.

So now, tomorrow morning I have to take my wife to go to jail. Despite us doing everything that we could, it wasn’t enough.

Don’t think that I am not stressed. I am. I am stressed, I am sad. I am afraid for my wife. I am appalled by the system that is so unorganized and biased.

Yet, life is a container of events. Someday, who knows when, all of this will be behind us in life. When those days come, we will breathe in the fresh air and give thanks to Sayari for the life that she provides to us. We will move on.

It is the Klana Way. The Family Way. We love our family. All of us do, that is why we follow the Klana Way. Because family is important to us. You can sit there and contemplate for hours before making a decision, yet the result aren’t always controllable. You control you, what you do, what you say, what you perceive. Others, well.. those are the wild cards.

The Klana Way teaches us to love all beings, and to wish all beings wellness, happiness and peace. Just, whatever you do, always be prepared. We never, ever, not once in a million years thought we would ever be caught up in something like this. Yet, it happened. It happened because somebody we do not know, have likely never seen, stole a radio. He maybe wanted to sell it for drugs. Maybe he thought it was cool. I don’t know.

I know it doesn’t matter why he did it. His intentions don’t matter. It was the actions that brought the results. The intention only gave it flavor. Even if he had intended to steal the radio, if he hadn’t acted on those intentions, none of this would have happened.